I can’t tell you how many countless people I have met throughout the years who share with me stories about when they were younger or when they were in high school. Of times when they were succeeding in many different ways whether is was through athletics, academics, social experiences, young love or all the above. Trust me I get it, I think that I was probably one of the biggest culprit of statements that started “when I was younger.....”
I bring this up because on Live Big With Ali Vincent you are going to meet Chez Starbuck who had a pretty incredible childhood that as he entered his adult years it was somewhat hard to live up to and the pounds started to pack on. Chez was a child Disney star. As you can imagine for Chez it was difficult going from a kid use to all eyes on him to becoming an adult uncomfortable, even in a group setting, with any eyes on him. Even somewhat embarrassed because he was suppose to “make it” in the showbiz world like many of his fellow disney stars, yet felt he couldn’t because of his weight.
I think like Chez, many of us or I’ll speak for myself, I felt like because of my childhood experiences I was suppose to be something more than where I found myself. I felt disappointed and assumed everyone else was judging me. The truth was that nobody was judging me except for myself. However I couldn’t see that until I started doing something about my weight on The Biggest Loser, a huge source of my self disappointment. You see I was a nationally and internationally ranked synchronized swimmer in my youth and never imagined I would ever have an issue with my fitness or physical abilities. I was that girl that a lot of things came naturally to so in an essence although I trained extensively I really never had to work for many of my successes.
This allowed me to never really get to own those success either and when the time came to work for something I wasn’t sure I knew how to so I would opt out because I feared failure. This fear of failing created exactly that. Slowly but surely throughout my adult life I opted out of many things that I would have loved experiencing. By protecting myself from the fear of not living up to the winner of my childhood I was failing in life because I was living small and safe which was adding up to complacency and inevitable death. I know that sounds pretty heavy, no pun intended, however not living up to your potential is dying. The opposite of living is dying and living partially is allowing yourself to partially die. It becomes an vicious cycle of events, for me the disappointment led me to try to fill the voids created in disappointment with food. I was desperately trying to feel full, complete. Which packed on the pounds leading to more disappointment.
By working on my weight issues I started living again which filled my with pride and accomplishment 1 minute at a time. I started to own what I was creating because not even I could take it away from myself. As I started to get stronger I realized that my sport didn’t make me the accomplished athlete of my childhood it was me that did. Yes I was lucky to have natural talent and opportunity but it was I who put in the time minute after minute. And when I looked back and told the truth I failed hundreds of times practice after practice way before I ever had the opportunity to win. In fact showing up was winning. Failing was winning. Because I was actively living and nobody even my self could invalidate that.
Like Chez I found myself through living in the moment and looking into the future not worrying about living “up to” anything especially things in the past. I hope you enjoy Chez’s story, I know I learned a lot about myself through sharing his journey....plus he’s pretty easy on the eyes which always makes things a little better ;) To watch full episode CLICK HERE